Every day I get at least one email from someone proclaiming that they are "destined to be" XXXXX. You can fill in the blank with any number of dreams the person has for themself, be it rich, famous, the best this or that. Of course they aren't emailing me just to tell me, they email me to ask for money to enable them to be whatever it is they dream of being. For me, its a good problem to have. But it leads to questions. Do we know what we are destined to be, or do we find it through experiences ? Are each of us really good at something, and its just a matter of finding it ? Do we all have something that we would love to do every day and do we inherently know it, or do we have to find it ? Will what you love to do always be what you are great at ?
Personally, I always have enjoyed business, but I never knew that I had an aptitude for technology until I got a job at Mellon Bank that lasted all of 8 months. But during the many hours of boredom, I found myself sitting in front of a mainframe teaching myself a scripting language called Ramis and loving every minute of it. Which lead to me buying a TI/99A I think it was, for 99 dollars, attaching a tape recorder as a drive (how is that for dating myself) and teaching myself basic. Which led to... You get the idea. I loved every minute of it. Maybe I wasnt the best programmer in the world, but in combination with business and sales skills, I found something that was a blast to me that I could and did do 24 hours at a time and not miss a beat.
Personally, I don't think people "know" what they are destined to be until they try it for the first couple times.
Going to college should be about experiencing as much academically as you possibly can, but more importantly, it should be about learning how to learn and recognizing that learning is a lifelong endeavor. School isn't the end of the learning process, its purely a training ground and beginning.
IMHO, once you have learned how to learn, then you can try as many different things as you can, recognizing that you don't have to find your destiny at any given age, you just have to be prepared to run with it when you experience it.
Of course there is always a caveat to destiny, and thats obligation. The greatest obstacle to destiny is debt, both personal and financial. The more people you are obligated to, the harder it is to focus on yourself and figure things out. I'm a blg believer that getting married is about finding yourself first, which makes it a lot easier to find the right person. If you can't stand on your own, it's impossible to successfully be part of a couple.
I'm also a big believer that financial debt is the ultimate dream killer. Your first house, car, whatever stuff you might want to buy are going to be the primary reasons you stop looking for what makes you the happiest.
How crazy is it to settle for a house , car or ?? over what it is you would like to do on an hourly or daily basis ?
Never Settle and there is no reason to rush. If you aren't happy with where you are at, simplify your life and go out and try as many things as it takes to find what you may be destined to be. If there is such a thing.
What Are You Destined to Be ?
Reader Comments
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Or at least be willing to risk your lifestyle to chase your dream. I was lucky enough to live in California and have property that increased in value. Even though that are only two of us in the house, I bought a four bedroom house, and three of the bedrooms house my business. Then as that property increased in value I used a home equity line to finance the expansion of my business.
We make products that assist in digital film/broadcast production. (http://www.digitalordnance.com) Making high end, high reliability, computer systems in a small business is a tough undertaking, particularly as we compete against companies like Thomson. I knew we could do it. I had to have faith in the dream.
We've made a lot of sacrifices over the last five years. Everything has been pumped back in to the business to build a broader technology base. Now it is paying off. There were some awfully scary nights thinking about the amount of debt we rolled up. There's been a lot of stress as we balanced all the business commitments.
It seems to me the house isn't really the issue. The real question is how you value your "lifestyle"? What's the impact to your family family? Is it worth risking those things for a greater final result? I enjoy my work, even with the crazy amounts of time, effort, and stress it involves. So those were less of a sacrifice. We have no kids, so the consequences of my decision lay entirely on me and my girlfriend. I'm not sure I could have made the same choices if I had a family and risked my children's welfare. Losing time with my children or having to move to a smaller house because my business failed was not a decision I had to make.
Posted at 2:37PM on Mar 9th 2008 by Daryll Strauss
3. Mark,
I very much enjoyed this post. Destiny, I'm convinced, has a curious sense of humor.
I graduated from university with a Bachelor's degree in Mathematics as I had (and still have) a burning desire to understand the true nature of the universe. Along the way, I became interested in the classical arts and finished by degree in Math with a minor in classical ballet. I danced professionally for 3 years before encountering a career-ending injury and consequently got into computer software. I started learning at an entry level job but I LOVED every minute I was actually learning how to program. I quickly advanced and - twelve years later I'm Director of Software Engineering at a cutting edge software security company. My degree taught me a bit about Mathematics - but more importantly, it taught me how to learn. Outside of my family, I love developing great software more than anything - yet when I started in school I would have NEVER envisioned being in this industry (I didn't even know what it was!).
Again, I enjoyed your post.
Best regards,
Mathew Thomas
Posted at 3:59PM on Mar 9th 2008 by Mathew Thomas
4. If you do it right changing the world is torture - like scrubbing the runway at Boston's Logan Airport with a toothbrush then having to do it twice when you missed a spot-- like living in a vacuum while the world moves around you- then when the world stops and looks at what you invented and says, "that makes complete common sense. Why didn't I think of that?" That's when you know you have it right and you nailed it - and if it is in your bones you might just clean that runway a third time just to show the world you can.
Posted at 4:00PM on Mar 9th 2008 by M
5. You are correct about debt, my dram was to have my own automation engineering business. I am married with 3 children, my first priority has always been to provide for my wife and children. Although my kids are all grown up, I find myself still supporting them.
Currently, My debt load prevents me from attempting to start my own business, and the rate in which I am removing that debt will prevent me from ever starting it.
I know what I am.
Guy
6. Learn how to learn...Almost like the sound of one hand clapping. This comes at a very important time for me as I am taking actions to get out of debt and moving towards a financial position that doesn't require me to have a "job" but to focus more on what I believe I was created to do! How freeing is that?
Posted at 4:50PM on Mar 9th 2008 by Kenyon
7. Kenyon,
"Learn how to learn...Almost like the sound of one hand clapping."
What does that mean?
Mathew
Posted at 5:20PM on Mar 9th 2008 by Mathew Thomas
8. Hey Mark,
Great post!!! I think you are right on. College should be about exploring your passions and finding your purpose. To help discover my destiny, I ask myself these 8 simple questions that I call the 8P:
Part 1: Where am I?
1. Principles: What beliefs do I believe will equate to success for me?
2. Passions: What do I love doing and why?
3. Problems & Pain: What social, science, technical, and/or personal question or pain do I want to solve?
4. People & Place: Who do I want to serve and where?
Part 2: Where am I going?
5. Picture: What's my vision for myself and the world?
6. Pioneers: Who are my models? Mentors? Guides?
7. Positioning: What do I want to be #1 in the world at?
8. Possibility: How will people experience life differently because of me?
This framework works for individuals and businesses. I hope it blesses you and your readers.
Much love,
P.S. The Sport of Business was my favorite. I love extended metaphors.
Posted at 6:40PM on Mar 9th 2008 by Jullien Gordon
9. Hi Mark,
Great post.
I also don't believe in debt and am totally debt free (although it wasn't always this way). It's such a joy to have my work efforts (ie. money coming in) affect my net worth directly, rather than goinog to paying off debts owed just to try to just get to zero.
Now every time a check comes in, whether large or small, I feel tons more self worth and happiness.
Posted at 7:03PM on Mar 9th 2008 by photoTristan
12. I agree, great topic Mark, thanks.
Doesn't this question pre-suppose that we are only "destined" (same root as destination) for one place / achievement? In the same way we never stop learning, isn't our life's work marked by the journey rather than the destination? I would much rather be know for having a positive influence on 1,000 lives that reaching an arbitrary milestone of $1,000 net worth (hypothetical figures of course!).
Our culture and society enables and rewards the relentless pursuit of more as though it were a destination when, in fact, once achieved we must continue on because the target has now moved.
If we spend our entire lives searching for what we believe our destiny is we are in great danger of missing our lives along the way.
Enjoy life, live it to the fullest being as generous as possible...and let your destiny find you.
- Thom
13. My destiny is where my final destination is at the end of my life....if I keep having full and worthwhile experience my final distination will be a rewarding and full....if I fat ass, write stupid ass emails to Mark for money, day dream, and basically let life and its experiences pass me by....my final destination will be like how I lived my life...shit
14. Destiny is an interesting choice of words here. I would suggest that we are not destined for anything. We make and own our outcomes, by working hard, by putting ourselves in the right place.
Posted at 10:01PM on Mar 9th 2008 by Ken Hanscom
17. "it should be about learning how to learn and recognizing that learning is a lifelong endeavor."
"I'm also a big believer that financial debt is the ultimate dream killer."
Christ. You are clearly some kind of genius. I've been out saying that exact thing in all of my interviews with college press. Nice to hear it from someone who isn't on the artist side of things, but instead, le business.
19. Mark,
I love golf but I'm not meant to be a golf pro. I love cooking but I'm not meant to be a chef. I love the open road but I'm not meant to live in my car.
I know this because I've tried.
I bring these experiences with me everyday it it makes me a better person. I still don't know what I'm destined to be but I know I'll find it.
Great post.
20. You truly have to have a passion for what you do – for me, outside of my family it is software programming/development and basketball. I began working at the age of 14 and to name a few I have worked in everything from a Christmas tree farm to a Nursery to a Grave Yard (try burying people while you are still in high school – really makes you think before you decide to party all the time) – to door to door vacuum cleaner sales to the US Navy to Architecture/Engineering firms to now programming and I have found my niche and what I LOVE to do!! It is loving to get up in the morning to get started; it is constantly thinking, no matter what I am doing, about a way to make the software better or how to solve a software problem; or just simply setting down to program and it seems like only 30 minutes has passed but in actuality it is time to go home and then go home spend time with my family and can get back on my computer and work some more later that evening. It is the constant learning that also excites me – technology is always evolving and there is no chance of ever not having enough information or never “I’ve learned enough already”.
You have to have a passion for what you do; believe in what you do and for what is coming to you; and have gratitude for ALL that have and ALL that you are going to get!
Posted at 9:58AM on Mar 10th 2008 by James
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1. Excellent topic, Mark.
Posted at 1:37PM on Mar 9th 2008 by David